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Things we need to understand about depression/suicidal thoughts (Feat. #SushantSinghRajput)

Yesterday I got the news of the suicide of a brilliant actor Sushant Singh Rajput. The reason for his suicide turned out is that he was going through a rough patch from the past few years. I tried to be okay all day but I couldn’t. I don’t know if I am startled by the incident or the reason behind that. Yes, I am disturbed by the rationale. So I decided to pen down my thoughts on it, otherwise, I won’t be able to sleep.

Sushant Sing Rajput - Ashmeet Sehgal Blog

So here I am, it’s 3:02 AM (June, 15) in my room, lights off, laptop’s night mode on, thinking why do I get so affected by this news. The major reason behind this is the opinions on depression and mental health from the people around me.

Why am I writing this now? Unfortunately, it is perhaps the only time people will take suicide, depression and mental health seriously. Hence, I think this is the perfect time to share this with you all.

Before you start reading this, I want to share one quote with you:

“Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I’ve said it unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense” — Buddha

So whatever you’re going to read below is my perception, feel free to disagree and there are a lot of things I’ve written are debatable. Take only the things which you like.

Let’s Start

Today I want you to understand the difference between Emotional Wounds and Physical Wounds so that we can dig deep and find out the real mental state of a person who is suicidal and going through an extreme stress situation. So this whole article will revolve around one comparison.

i.e. EMOTIONAL HEALTH v/s PHYSICAL HEALTH

AND,

1. "Is there a difference between mental health and emotional health, if yes, then what?"

2. "Why do we need to emphasise more on emotional health than physical health?"

3. "The mindset behind ending your own life."

4. "Is there a solution?"

tl;dr:

Before coming to the main one, let’s see Emotional Health vs Mental Health,

Q: Is there a difference between mental health and emotional health, if yes, then what?

In simple words, Mental Health as the name suggests it is connected to the brain/mind. If you’ve seen the movie “Lage Raho Munna Bhai”, then you can easily connect with this scene where the lead character starts to see the spirit of “Mahatma Gandhi” everywhere due to chemical imbalance in his brain. This can be natural or due to some external factors. (like family conditions, intense mental focus on something for a very long time without any break).

Lage Raho Munna Bhai Movie Scene - Ashmeet Sehgal Blog

Lage Raho Munna Bhai Movie Scene

However, on the contrary, Emotional Health deals with matters of the heart. The issues that develop more often when people have to deal with traumatic or negative life events. People often have different symptoms when they struggle with emotional or mental health issues.

And people can suffer from both at the same time. So where we need to focus. Which one is more important to take care of? Both are crucial but which should be on more priority? Mind dominates Heart or it’s the other way around. Let’s take an example of this to get the answer.

Let’s say there’s a girl who is in love with a guy and her mind knows that this guy is not right for her. Their families are against their relationship, there’s no compatibility, her brain knows all these calculations however her mind will soon surrender to her heart. That’s the power of the heart. You can train your mind to control your emotions however it doesn’t work always. So it’s substantial to train our heart as well with our mind to keep ourselves healthy mentally and emotionally.


Q: Why do we need to emphasise more on emotional health than physical health?

Okay, This is an integral part of this article, bear with me on this. I’ll try to explain this as simple as possible. First, We need to realize that it’s not all possible to know what a person is going through. However, we do compare some time. Mental or emotional health is not like physical health we cannot get an idea by seeing a person on how strong he is mentally and emotionally. There’s no device invented yet to know the emotional or mental pressure.

Comparing/Judging a person for his emotional and mental abilities is like comparing a strong wrestler with a thin person on based on the ability to pick a weight/dumbbell and in this case, even weights of dumbbell are different. Life doesn’t give dumbbells based on the capability/strength of the lifter. All we see is physical health but no-one knows what’s going on inside the mind of a physically healthy person.

top-left: [Dwayne Johnson], bottom-left: [The Great Khali] - Ashmeet Sehgal Blog

top-left: Dwayne Johnson, bottom-left: The Great Khali


How can someone even think of suicide?

Here we need to understand how Emotional Wounds are more dangerous than Physical Wounds? And how it leads to that big decision?

Let’s try to understand this with an example, let’s say your arm is wounded, it’s bleeding. Your mind will know that we need to take care of this. Your heart will know that it is dangerous and your body needs to get rid of this and it gives your mind a signal that it has to heal. Then your mind will take measures like calling a doctor or doing first aid or taking medicines. And then mind follows the ongoing process, whether those medicines are working or not, does your body needs rest or do you need to consult another doctor and all, this process goes on until your arm is fully recovered.

The problem when your heart is wounded:

Now let’s assume some tragedy happened and your heart is wounded, Now your central system got affected. In this case, even if you’re mentally sound, your heart will not allow your brain to start working on the healing part. It will never signal your mind to even think about calling a doctor or taking medicine.

Mental Health v/s Emotional Health - Ashmeet Sehgal Blog

Like I said before, your heart always dominates your brain and your brain surrenders. You don’t feel like doing anything. You want this world to be stopped at that moment. You don’t feel like sharing anything with anyone, sometimes because of trust issues or sometimes it’s just that you think nobody can understand you. Nobody can feel your pain.

Which is true, nobody (not even your family, true friends), literally nobody can feel your pain or can share your pain.

Do you remember this scene from the movie Kabir Singh?

A scene from the movie [Kabir Singh] - Ashmeet Sehgal Blog

A scene from the movie Kabir Singh

And it is very true, suffering is very personal. But that doesn’t mean nobody can help you. Nobody can feel or share your pain however people can help you to get out of that zone.


The flow of changing mindset:

So now when your heart is not signalling at all, you become a pessimist, experience worthlessness. 👇


With that worthless feeling, you start to overthink about things. Which starts affecting your eating and sleeping patterns. You’ll isolate yourself.👇


Impacted eating habits will disturb your physical health, you’ll feel a lack of energy and disturbed sleeping patterns will affect your mind. 👇


Now your mind is losing power to think, making decisions and facing difficulties in concentrating, remembering things. 👇


Now your body and mind are at their weakest zones. You have already lost interest in your regular activities at this time. And you’re about to lose hope. 👇


This is the last step, you lost your hope. You’re fed up of crying and those panic attacks. Thoughts of suicide have started. You may have been thinking about it for a long period. 👇


And this step is very quick to call and it just takes 5 to 10 minutes, literally no thinking involved. Suicide Plan to Attempt. And everything is over! 🥀


What we need to understand is especially in India, we don’t give much attention to terms like stress, anxiety, depression. These are still a taboo in our country.

We take physical health so seriously but mental health not enough.

So coming back to this incident of Sushant Singh Rajput, 34 years old, successful, intelligent, rich, healthy, happy? Now many people may wonder that he had such life which million people wish for, if you got this question in your mind, please do read this article again, you probably missed the point.

as Jim Carrey once said, “I think everybody should get rich and famous and do everything they ever dreamed of so they can see that it’s not the answer.

This incident taught us not to leave each other alone, not to be hard on ourselves. No matter how popular, intelligent, healthy, rich you are, situations or circumstance may go wrong, people you get along with can also be wrong, life can be too harsh sometimes. We learnt that self-worth is not about the size of the car, the bank balance or brand of your clothing.


Q: Is there a solution?

Let’s see,

Having someone willing to listen and ask concerned questions can make all the difference. This is it.

The solution I can think of

We are living in an era of social media, Everyone is flaunting their lives, luxuries, and how happy they are. Sometimes it’s obvious one get jealous and start hating his own life. And in this busy life, there is no one to talk to regarding mental health. Everyone in this world has to fight their own battles.

If I have to give a quick (1 line) solution to this, that would be, “The moment you feel that something is wrong, go to your family. In the end, the family is the only option which can save you from this”

And if you’re getting suicidal thoughts, pick up your phone and call your family. Remember this scene from 3 idiots, this works! Just imagine what would happen to your family’s smile when they’ll see your dead body.

A scene from 3 idiots - Ashmeet Sehgal Blog

A scene from 3 idiots

Depression is real. The world needs to accept it, not stigmatize it.

Depression, anxiety, mental stress these are real disease and 100% curable if you think it’s troubling you, getting medical help makes sense.
Attaching one Hindi video, on symptoms, causes & treatment

Dr Praveen Tripathi on depression’s symptoms, causes & treatment

On a lighter note, if you want to go deep into Emotional Health and Physical Health, Do watch this 👇 ENJOY 😀!

AIB : If People Treated Other Illnesses Like They Treat Depression

AIB on treating depression like other illness

Please treat depression like we treat physical illness, Don’t say things you wouldn’t tell someone with a physical illness like cheer up or smile or why are you like this always. You can make that case worse by saying this.

I hope this will help someone somewhere in their life. A lot of people don’t face this in their life so this is not for everyone, don’t overthink that it may happen to you someday somewhere.

The core idea of writing this bit so that we can reprogram our mind to accept the idea of emotional wellbeing. Because our mind tells us that the pain we cannot see is the pain that does not exist or is not important.

And be kind to people because we cannot see this pain but it exists and people generally hide it behind laughs and smiles.